How Do We Raise Students' Self-Esteem?

Parents are the first line of teachers in students' lives.

Two Sides of a Coin: Building self-esteem in students can be harmful or helpful, depending on how it is done. It is possible to build students up so that they become "puffed up" and think they are awesome just for showing up for school. 

A Saturation of Praise

One can make students think they are awesome no matter how they perform.

Researchers found that "D" students do not necessarily think less highly of themselves than "A" students. Bullies often have over-inflated "self-esteem."

"When self-esteem is not based on personal drive, accomplishments, or positive behavior, it resembles narcissism" (Aspen 2001-2009).

Building True Self-Esteem 

Students with higher self-esteem do better in school (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)

"Practices that promote self-esteem produce more successful, hard working, risk-taking, ambitious, respectful, and self-directed students" (Schindler, 2010).

John Schindler writes that true self-esteem has little to do with feelings reported by students. Instead, it has everything to do with a set of unconscious self-beliefs that include "one's thoughts about one's ability to control their world" (locus of control), "one's likability, and one's sense of competence or self-efficacy."

To help improve student's locus of control:

·      Give students voice and ownership of rules and their consequences

·      Create an environment free from excuses.

·      Teach problem-solving skills

·      Give students choices

·      Use behavioral contracts when needed

To help students develop a sense of belonging or acceptance

This is essential for mental health and ability to trust and take risks.

·      Create an environment of acceptance (model, teach, attitudes and values)

·      Appreciate the different viewpoints

·      Validate student's feelings

·      Promote human respect

·      Use cooperative learning where students have to lean on each other to gain certain accomplishments

Encourage Self-efficacy

·      Give students specific feedback about what they need to work on and what they did well

·      Assess using a clear criterion

·      Find ways to make students teachers

·      Help students make their own goals

·      Help students think of ways to overcome their own barriers

·      See students through to achieve their goals.

Example: A student wants to do a large assignment. Help the student decide what they can do in a specific amount of time. Break the work up into smaller chunks and set time goals for specific days. Are there other barriers? What are they? What specific goals can we set to get over these barriers? Then follow up and keep students accountable for their goals.

Another Example: Have the students help build the class rules or home rules, keeping in mind the most valuable goals of keeping everyone safe, respecting each other, and learning as a priority. 

Aspen Education Group. Can Your Teen Have Too Much Self-Esteem? Found on http://www.aspeneducation.com/Article-too-much-self-esteem.html. 2001-2009.

Shindler, J. V., Creating a Psychology of Success in the Classroom:

Enhancing Academic Achievement by Systematically Promoting Student Self-Esteem. http://www.calstatela.edu/faculty/jshindl/cm/Self-Esteem%20Article%2011.htm

Two great books on teaching students to make good choices:
Cline, F. & Fay, J. Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.  2006.
Fay, J. & Funk, D. Teaching with Love and Logic: Taking Control of the Classroom. 1995.   

Dads, Careers, & Learning

Fathers are very important in connecting students with careers. Dads teach their children the skills they have in their own careers whether it be golf, networking, financing, mechanics, electronics or sales.* One example of this is my friend’s dad who was principal of a school. Through him, she played basketball and golfed, learning strategies and resilience in many situations.

My dad believed that I could do whatever I put my mind to, whether it be playing the piano, college soccer, or a career. He taught me how to tune up a lawn mower, some construction, and the value and enjoyment of work itself. Once he let me help paint an apartment. Painting has been a way for me to make money on the side ever since.

I will never forget the times Dad helped me with my homework – reading and memorizing multiplication facts. Because it was so special, I still remember those exact time’s-tables and books he helped me with.

Thanks Dad! I still believe I can do anything I put my mind to.

*For her master's thesis in social work, my mother studied the influence of fathers on their daughter's careers. At the time there was not much research on this topic. Also, I learned many things from my mother. For example, it was my mother who took me with her to teach a special education class. 

Dad's Encouragement Through Difficulties

Written by a man who lost his dad last year to cancer (both named Edwin Boone)

Edited by Juanita

  

My dad really helped me in my learning.  It wasn’t really the things that he taught me, which were usually practical things and skills, such as how to keep things working, but the attitude about the learning itself.  

One of the greatest lessons Dad taught me was, when learning gets tough and the pieces just don’t seem to fit, persevere and keep trying.  Sometimes I needed to walk away from a thing for a while, go back a few lessons, or think about it from another angle. Under his influence, I learned to never give up. 

One example of my inability to comprehend what I was studying was a high school class in trigonometric analysis. Despite my best efforts and the assistance of an engineer friend of my dad’s, I steadily became more and more like a lost ball in high weeds.  I managed to barely pass the class. My last grade for the class was a solid D, by far the worst grade I ever had in school. I was very afraid that Dad was going to be angry about the D.  

That day, he taught me one of the other greatest lessons I have ever learned: If you have worked at something, have truly done your best, and still somehow manage to not succeed – keep your head high and don’t be down on yourself. You really have nothing at all to be ashamed of. 

Take joy from what you can do, and don’t be ashamed of what, in spite of your best efforts, you cannot do. 

That’s a lesson that helps me sleep at night.

  

When You Have Tried Everything

What do you do?

Your young student is just not getting it. With at least one subject, you have reached the point of thinking and saying things like:

“In spelling we have tried everything! We sign the words. We write the words. We say them out loud. He can spell the words at home, but he cannot spell them at school.” For both you and your student: FRUSTRATION!!!

1st – Remember the number one thing – you, as the parent, are the most important factor in this child’s life. Not the spelling. Not the math. Not the skill for any academics. You.

2nd – Admit to yourself that learning is not, as Western educational theory held for years, a linear process. One does not have to learn A and B in order to do D. I think of learning as connecting the dots in 3D. A person can learn task D, E and F, or even M, before learning  A, B and C. Sometimes, his learning other tasks and skills yields coping strategies that assist in working around a disability. Examples:

• A student with a math disability can learn to use a calculator, and be allowed to use it in class. If your student does not have a disability, he may use one at home as an investigative tool.
• A student with a writing disability learns to ask a teacher or teacher’s aide for help with writing. Or this student uses a computer keyboard, a voice recognition program, or learns to write in text on a hand-held device.  
• Always be aware that there are options. Keep searching for ways to help your child that might work better for the time being.

3rd - How do you connect the dots?

• - exercise – including different kinds of movements like tumbling
• - sleep – A weary mind does not learn or remember, and mental connections form while sleeping  
• - art, music, social interaction, puzzles, and anything but television. 
• - work on skills using the 5 senses 

 
4th – Celebrate your achievements: When you meet a goal, whether it is educational success or simply reaching the time goal for your study period, then celebrate. Be happy! That was a lot of work for both you and your student, so you should both feel good about it.

5th – Your student may have high aptitude and interest in some areas, but have less in others. Remember that schools thought Albert Einstein was retarded because he was interested  only in mathematics and science. Read this interesting blog note: http://apieceofmymind-sarv.blogspot.com/2007/03/albert-einstein-failure.html

6th – Always remember that, just because your student didn’t get it right today, it doesn’t mean he or she won’t do it tomorrow. You may often have to remind your student of this too. Thomas Edison failed over 6000 times before he invented the light bulb. He said “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”

Towards Understanding Students with Disabilities and Their Families

Watching certain movies has really helped me understand some of the challenges that students with disabilities and their families face.

On the average, one out of every 110 students may have an autism spectrum diagnosis. If your school (or school district) has 650 students per grade level, the likelihood is that will be 6 students on the autism spectrum per grade level.

There are many movies about people with disabilities. Here I have included 3 with a short description and links.

Temple Grandin’s inspirational movie uses the visual analogy of life as a series of doors, each of which she must go through to reach the next level of success. She proves to be so determined to get through those doors. It is one of the images that helps her overcome her fear of new things. The young Temple continuously wows teachers and students with her many gifts. The movie sneaks in details such as her ability to focus on a task, like writing an entire Master’s Thesis in less than a week. She works hard, in spite of the opposition, to change to world, and demonstrates that, because of autism (which often inhibits the ability to – consciously or subconsciously – ignore ‘background’ sensory input, such as cows’ constant mooing), she can perceive things other people simply don’t see or hear. February 6th at 8:00 pm on HBO. See her webpage: http://www.grandin.com/

I found the movie Adam to be very encouraging. Adam in an autistic man whose father and sole caregiver dies. Before his death, Adam worked for his father’s company designing toys, but soon finds himself jobless. As a hard-working and focused individual, he applied for 82 jobs in one day. He practiced and practiced in order to be able to perform job interviews. If he can do it, I can do it. http://www.foxsearchlight.com/adam/

“I Am Sam” is about a man with disabilities who lives in an assisted living situation and has nights out with the guys. After his girlfriend has a baby, she abandons him with a child. He loves the child so much and is determined to be a good father to her in spite of his own learning challenges. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0277027/


Least Restrictive Environment
The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act (IDEA) of 2004 officially requires that by law students with disabilities be placed in the least restrictive environment possible. Studies show that integrating students actually raises test scores for all students. Advanced students learn more by teaching other students. Lower students learn from being with advanced students.

People with disabilities are like all people in that we have strengths and weaknesses. Some strengths and weaknesses can be extraordinary on both counts. As educators, we have to remember to see the strengths.

Rewards – A Great Way to Encourage Learning and Desired Behavior

STEP 1: Make a list of every kind of reward you can think of.
After making the list, check with your child to see if there are any rewards you missed.
Which ones are the most important?

Example List: computer time, movie time, ice-cream or other food, story time, special activity, sitting in the front seat instead of the back, stickers on a chart that lead to larger rewards, surprises, a treasure box, surprise gifts, special necklace or shirt, McDonald's or Chucky Cheese's, play time with a friend.
In the end, almost everything good can turn into rewards.

STEP 2: Think of a behavior you want to encourage. For example, you can reward a week of good behavior at school, reading every day, or a great score on a spelling test.

STEP 3: Find appropriate means to record data where your child can see it. For example, my kids really like the Ladybug chart for tracking their reading time each day. The following web link has more chart ideas and how to use them.

Vary Rewards: If people (not just young people) receive the same reward for too long, that reward loses effectiveness.

IDEA: Build rewards into ordinary plans.
- When my children are watching a movie and need to get ready for bed, I stop the movie early, have them brush their teeth in a timely manner, and watch a little more movie as a reward.
- After the kids pick out their clothes for the next day of school, they go out and play.
- If the kids brush their teeth on their own, they can use a pink fluoride mouth rinse.
- Once in a while, a treasure from a treasure box encourages good going-to-bed behavior. But children do not get the treasure until they are all ready for school with hair brushed and shoes on the following day.

Even I find it easier to accomplish my tasks when looking forward to positive rewards.