How Do We Raise Students' Self-Esteem?

Parents are the first line of teachers in students' lives.

Two Sides of a Coin: Building self-esteem in students can be harmful or helpful, depending on how it is done. It is possible to build students up so that they become "puffed up" and think they are awesome just for showing up for school. 

A Saturation of Praise

One can make students think they are awesome no matter how they perform.

Researchers found that "D" students do not necessarily think less highly of themselves than "A" students. Bullies often have over-inflated "self-esteem."

"When self-esteem is not based on personal drive, accomplishments, or positive behavior, it resembles narcissism" (Aspen 2001-2009).

Building True Self-Esteem 

Students with higher self-esteem do better in school (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)

"Practices that promote self-esteem produce more successful, hard working, risk-taking, ambitious, respectful, and self-directed students" (Schindler, 2010).

John Schindler writes that true self-esteem has little to do with feelings reported by students. Instead, it has everything to do with a set of unconscious self-beliefs that include "one's thoughts about one's ability to control their world" (locus of control), "one's likability, and one's sense of competence or self-efficacy."

To help improve student's locus of control:

·      Give students voice and ownership of rules and their consequences

·      Create an environment free from excuses.

·      Teach problem-solving skills

·      Give students choices

·      Use behavioral contracts when needed

To help students develop a sense of belonging or acceptance

This is essential for mental health and ability to trust and take risks.

·      Create an environment of acceptance (model, teach, attitudes and values)

·      Appreciate the different viewpoints

·      Validate student's feelings

·      Promote human respect

·      Use cooperative learning where students have to lean on each other to gain certain accomplishments

Encourage Self-efficacy

·      Give students specific feedback about what they need to work on and what they did well

·      Assess using a clear criterion

·      Find ways to make students teachers

·      Help students make their own goals

·      Help students think of ways to overcome their own barriers

·      See students through to achieve their goals.

Example: A student wants to do a large assignment. Help the student decide what they can do in a specific amount of time. Break the work up into smaller chunks and set time goals for specific days. Are there other barriers? What are they? What specific goals can we set to get over these barriers? Then follow up and keep students accountable for their goals.

Another Example: Have the students help build the class rules or home rules, keeping in mind the most valuable goals of keeping everyone safe, respecting each other, and learning as a priority. 

Aspen Education Group. Can Your Teen Have Too Much Self-Esteem? Found on http://www.aspeneducation.com/Article-too-much-self-esteem.html. 2001-2009.

Shindler, J. V., Creating a Psychology of Success in the Classroom:

Enhancing Academic Achievement by Systematically Promoting Student Self-Esteem. http://www.calstatela.edu/faculty/jshindl/cm/Self-Esteem%20Article%2011.htm

Two great books on teaching students to make good choices:
Cline, F. & Fay, J. Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.  2006.
Fay, J. & Funk, D. Teaching with Love and Logic: Taking Control of the Classroom. 1995.   

When You Have Tried Everything

What do you do?

Your young student is just not getting it. With at least one subject, you have reached the point of thinking and saying things like:

“In spelling we have tried everything! We sign the words. We write the words. We say them out loud. He can spell the words at home, but he cannot spell them at school.” For both you and your student: FRUSTRATION!!!

1st – Remember the number one thing – you, as the parent, are the most important factor in this child’s life. Not the spelling. Not the math. Not the skill for any academics. You.

2nd – Admit to yourself that learning is not, as Western educational theory held for years, a linear process. One does not have to learn A and B in order to do D. I think of learning as connecting the dots in 3D. A person can learn task D, E and F, or even M, before learning  A, B and C. Sometimes, his learning other tasks and skills yields coping strategies that assist in working around a disability. Examples:

• A student with a math disability can learn to use a calculator, and be allowed to use it in class. If your student does not have a disability, he may use one at home as an investigative tool.
• A student with a writing disability learns to ask a teacher or teacher’s aide for help with writing. Or this student uses a computer keyboard, a voice recognition program, or learns to write in text on a hand-held device.  
• Always be aware that there are options. Keep searching for ways to help your child that might work better for the time being.

3rd - How do you connect the dots?

• - exercise – including different kinds of movements like tumbling
• - sleep – A weary mind does not learn or remember, and mental connections form while sleeping  
• - art, music, social interaction, puzzles, and anything but television. 
• - work on skills using the 5 senses 

 
4th – Celebrate your achievements: When you meet a goal, whether it is educational success or simply reaching the time goal for your study period, then celebrate. Be happy! That was a lot of work for both you and your student, so you should both feel good about it.

5th – Your student may have high aptitude and interest in some areas, but have less in others. Remember that schools thought Albert Einstein was retarded because he was interested  only in mathematics and science. Read this interesting blog note: http://apieceofmymind-sarv.blogspot.com/2007/03/albert-einstein-failure.html

6th – Always remember that, just because your student didn’t get it right today, it doesn’t mean he or she won’t do it tomorrow. You may often have to remind your student of this too. Thomas Edison failed over 6000 times before he invented the light bulb. He said “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”

Rewards – A Great Way to Encourage Learning and Desired Behavior

STEP 1: Make a list of every kind of reward you can think of.
After making the list, check with your child to see if there are any rewards you missed.
Which ones are the most important?

Example List: computer time, movie time, ice-cream or other food, story time, special activity, sitting in the front seat instead of the back, stickers on a chart that lead to larger rewards, surprises, a treasure box, surprise gifts, special necklace or shirt, McDonald's or Chucky Cheese's, play time with a friend.
In the end, almost everything good can turn into rewards.

STEP 2: Think of a behavior you want to encourage. For example, you can reward a week of good behavior at school, reading every day, or a great score on a spelling test.

STEP 3: Find appropriate means to record data where your child can see it. For example, my kids really like the Ladybug chart for tracking their reading time each day. The following web link has more chart ideas and how to use them.

Vary Rewards: If people (not just young people) receive the same reward for too long, that reward loses effectiveness.

IDEA: Build rewards into ordinary plans.
- When my children are watching a movie and need to get ready for bed, I stop the movie early, have them brush their teeth in a timely manner, and watch a little more movie as a reward.
- After the kids pick out their clothes for the next day of school, they go out and play.
- If the kids brush their teeth on their own, they can use a pink fluoride mouth rinse.
- Once in a while, a treasure from a treasure box encourages good going-to-bed behavior. But children do not get the treasure until they are all ready for school with hair brushed and shoes on the following day.

Even I find it easier to accomplish my tasks when looking forward to positive rewards.

Math and Money

Money is a great way to teach young people math concepts like adding, subtracting, multiplying, decimals and then dividing and fractions. Everyone needs to learn how to use money. Children are naturally interested in money so that learning does not seem like work.

The first step is teaching kids what money stands for.
- Rewards: With my kids, we’ll be riding in the car or in the middle of our routine. I will hold up a nickel and say, “What is this?” They answer. Then I say, “How much is it worth?” If they answer correctly, then they can keep the nickel, dime or quarter.
- If the kids find a pile of change somewhere, they might be able to keep it or some of it if they can count it correctly. If this is too frustrating, then they can count it with an adult.

Change game for learning: One can play games by rolling a die and earning pennies. Then as the pennies add up, trade for a nickel or a dime. When players get 10 dimes, they trade for a dollar.

o This is the base for our primary number system (Base 10).

After children learn what money stands for, they can start learning how to write money (decimals) and later move towards learning fractions (one tenth, one quarter of 100 = .25 or a quarter).

Note about online games: There are many free games online for math, like http://www.apples4theteacher.com/java/counting/money.html. However, children learn better when they can actually move coins around and have personal interaction. Online games can be one reward for learning concepts or working for 10 minutes, counting money.

More online game ideas:
- http://pbskids.org/itsmylife/games/mad_money_flash.html
- http://www.netrover.com/~kingskid/Math/math.htm
- http://www.moneyinstructor.com/games.asp

Have fun!