How Do We Raise Students' Self-Esteem?

Parents are the first line of teachers in students' lives.

Two Sides of a Coin: Building self-esteem in students can be harmful or helpful, depending on how it is done. It is possible to build students up so that they become "puffed up" and think they are awesome just for showing up for school. 

A Saturation of Praise

One can make students think they are awesome no matter how they perform.

Researchers found that "D" students do not necessarily think less highly of themselves than "A" students. Bullies often have over-inflated "self-esteem."

"When self-esteem is not based on personal drive, accomplishments, or positive behavior, it resembles narcissism" (Aspen 2001-2009).

Building True Self-Esteem 

Students with higher self-esteem do better in school (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)

"Practices that promote self-esteem produce more successful, hard working, risk-taking, ambitious, respectful, and self-directed students" (Schindler, 2010).

John Schindler writes that true self-esteem has little to do with feelings reported by students. Instead, it has everything to do with a set of unconscious self-beliefs that include "one's thoughts about one's ability to control their world" (locus of control), "one's likability, and one's sense of competence or self-efficacy."

To help improve student's locus of control:

·      Give students voice and ownership of rules and their consequences

·      Create an environment free from excuses.

·      Teach problem-solving skills

·      Give students choices

·      Use behavioral contracts when needed

To help students develop a sense of belonging or acceptance

This is essential for mental health and ability to trust and take risks.

·      Create an environment of acceptance (model, teach, attitudes and values)

·      Appreciate the different viewpoints

·      Validate student's feelings

·      Promote human respect

·      Use cooperative learning where students have to lean on each other to gain certain accomplishments

Encourage Self-efficacy

·      Give students specific feedback about what they need to work on and what they did well

·      Assess using a clear criterion

·      Find ways to make students teachers

·      Help students make their own goals

·      Help students think of ways to overcome their own barriers

·      See students through to achieve their goals.

Example: A student wants to do a large assignment. Help the student decide what they can do in a specific amount of time. Break the work up into smaller chunks and set time goals for specific days. Are there other barriers? What are they? What specific goals can we set to get over these barriers? Then follow up and keep students accountable for their goals.

Another Example: Have the students help build the class rules or home rules, keeping in mind the most valuable goals of keeping everyone safe, respecting each other, and learning as a priority. 

Aspen Education Group. Can Your Teen Have Too Much Self-Esteem? Found on http://www.aspeneducation.com/Article-too-much-self-esteem.html. 2001-2009.

Shindler, J. V., Creating a Psychology of Success in the Classroom:

Enhancing Academic Achievement by Systematically Promoting Student Self-Esteem. http://www.calstatela.edu/faculty/jshindl/cm/Self-Esteem%20Article%2011.htm

Two great books on teaching students to make good choices:
Cline, F. & Fay, J. Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.  2006.
Fay, J. & Funk, D. Teaching with Love and Logic: Taking Control of the Classroom. 1995.   

Dads, Careers, & Learning

Fathers are very important in connecting students with careers. Dads teach their children the skills they have in their own careers whether it be golf, networking, financing, mechanics, electronics or sales.* One example of this is my friend’s dad who was principal of a school. Through him, she played basketball and golfed, learning strategies and resilience in many situations.

My dad believed that I could do whatever I put my mind to, whether it be playing the piano, college soccer, or a career. He taught me how to tune up a lawn mower, some construction, and the value and enjoyment of work itself. Once he let me help paint an apartment. Painting has been a way for me to make money on the side ever since.

I will never forget the times Dad helped me with my homework – reading and memorizing multiplication facts. Because it was so special, I still remember those exact time’s-tables and books he helped me with.

Thanks Dad! I still believe I can do anything I put my mind to.

*For her master's thesis in social work, my mother studied the influence of fathers on their daughter's careers. At the time there was not much research on this topic. Also, I learned many things from my mother. For example, it was my mother who took me with her to teach a special education class. 

Note to Moms about Reading and Writing

Moms are the greatest recognized influence on student reading and writing development by the students themselves – even teenagers!

Last week I had the privilege of helping a 10th grade collaborative* writing class with their essays. Students were writing a 2-page, typed essay on how their reading and writing has developed over the years. Nine (9) out of ten (10) 10th-Grade students attributed their reading and writing development to their mom’s influence. No other person was mentioned in any of the essays I read: not the dad, not a special teacher, grandma or nanny.

What does this say about teaching reading and writing?

   •    Moms know their children.
   •    Moms know how their kids learn best
   •    Moms know what their kids are interested in and inspired by
   •    Moms teach reading and writing in love.


"A teacher affects eternity: he can never tell where his influence stops." - Henry Brooks
A mother affects eternity: she can never tell where her influence stops. (Translation for Moms)


*A "collaborative" writing class means that there were several students with learning and behavior disabilities in the class who were successfully tackling this 2 page, typed essay on their reading and writing development over the years.

To Dad’s – Father’s day is coming. You can find out how Fathers influence their children’s success.

Improve Reading Fluency

Learning to Read can be hard work:  

For most kids, learning to read is a challenging task.  Think about how many school days are spent going over letters, popcorn words, spelling, and so on. But you have one thing at home that the school seldom can offer - special one-on-one time with a caring adult. 

The importance of reading fluently – with speed, ease, and putting the pauses in the right places (expression):

• To understand the reading, one must put the pauses in the right places.
• To remember what you are reading, there needs to be some speed and automaticity.

How do you do this?

My favorite, research-proven strategy to improve fluency is called “Paired Reading.” Read at the same time, side by side with your student with one of you pointing to each word. Part of slowness and hesitation in reading is caused by fear of getting the words wrong. Reading side-by-side at the same time takes the fear out of the reading. If the student hesitates, then they can listen to your voice and pick up the word without error – helping with errorless learning.

In fact, research says that, when students do paired reading with a better reader for as little as10 minutes per day, the result is an increase in their reading level and comprehension in a matter of weeks. This is a temporary intervention that may be needed for a short time, until student becomes more independent.

Repeated Readings: Another way to help with fluency is to have student practice reading faster. Time the student reading the first time (# of words correct in one minute). Point out the mistakes so they can work on the mistakes for the next readings. Maybe do paired reading (have the student read with a better reader). Have students practice reading the words to themselves or to a partner, who is listening for accuracy. Time the student’s reading again after a few days of practice.

I do Paired Reading and Repeated Reading with my English Language Learners. My goal for Level One learners is to gain about 100 words per minute. Why? Reading more fluently leads to students being able to remember what they learned while taking some of the work out of the task.

Reading leads to further learning.

More ideas to help with reading from Intervention Central: http://www.interventioncentral.org/index.php/reading-comp/236-reading-com-fix-up-skills

When You Have Tried Everything

What do you do?

Your young student is just not getting it. With at least one subject, you have reached the point of thinking and saying things like:

“In spelling we have tried everything! We sign the words. We write the words. We say them out loud. He can spell the words at home, but he cannot spell them at school.” For both you and your student: FRUSTRATION!!!

1st – Remember the number one thing – you, as the parent, are the most important factor in this child’s life. Not the spelling. Not the math. Not the skill for any academics. You.

2nd – Admit to yourself that learning is not, as Western educational theory held for years, a linear process. One does not have to learn A and B in order to do D. I think of learning as connecting the dots in 3D. A person can learn task D, E and F, or even M, before learning  A, B and C. Sometimes, his learning other tasks and skills yields coping strategies that assist in working around a disability. Examples:

• A student with a math disability can learn to use a calculator, and be allowed to use it in class. If your student does not have a disability, he may use one at home as an investigative tool.
• A student with a writing disability learns to ask a teacher or teacher’s aide for help with writing. Or this student uses a computer keyboard, a voice recognition program, or learns to write in text on a hand-held device.  
• Always be aware that there are options. Keep searching for ways to help your child that might work better for the time being.

3rd - How do you connect the dots?

• - exercise – including different kinds of movements like tumbling
• - sleep – A weary mind does not learn or remember, and mental connections form while sleeping  
• - art, music, social interaction, puzzles, and anything but television. 
• - work on skills using the 5 senses 

 
4th – Celebrate your achievements: When you meet a goal, whether it is educational success or simply reaching the time goal for your study period, then celebrate. Be happy! That was a lot of work for both you and your student, so you should both feel good about it.

5th – Your student may have high aptitude and interest in some areas, but have less in others. Remember that schools thought Albert Einstein was retarded because he was interested  only in mathematics and science. Read this interesting blog note: http://apieceofmymind-sarv.blogspot.com/2007/03/albert-einstein-failure.html

6th – Always remember that, just because your student didn’t get it right today, it doesn’t mean he or she won’t do it tomorrow. You may often have to remind your student of this too. Thomas Edison failed over 6000 times before he invented the light bulb. He said “I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.”

Ask Your Child’s Teacher

If you think you are the only one who wants your child to succeed, guess again. Your teacher, your school principal, and the state in which you live have a vested interest in the success of your child.

Do not be embarrassed if you don’t know how to do your child’s homework (even if it is 1^st  Grade). Other parents don’t know how to do it either! So be your child’s advocate and an advocate for all of those afraid to ask.

 

Over the last 20-30 years, the philosophy of teaching has changed,

• the funding of school has changed, 
• school leadership has changed,
• school accountability has changed,
• and teacher’s average knowledge and ability has changed significantly!

Also, if your child is having learning difficulties, teachers can share strategies they are teaching at school. You can reinforce these. Teachers have a life-long collection of helpful learning tools and suggestions.

Your child’s teacher has so many ideas, so much pressure, and so little time to teach what they have to teach!

More advice for parents, including free printables. At www.teachervision website.

A Word & Its Meaning – Put it Together with a Picture

In kindergarten, my daughter refused to read words in isolation. So I started drawing pictures around the words to give them context.

Upon looking for flashcards with pictures, teachers told me about the Bob Books. They are the only kind of reading system that incorporates words with pictures. Cheaper yet, we turned to the Dick and Jane books. These books have the sight words and pictures with enough repetition to learn the words.

How can we make learning sight words fun and effective?

Make your own pictures that go with word meanings.

In fact, have your child dream up pictures that go with word meanings – preferably with a friend! Use a white board as this takes a lot of erasing.

This is an effective learning strategy for primary, intermediate, and ESL students to connect the meanings and spellings of words.

 At the bottom of this entry is a page from Purple Cows & Potato Chips (1995) which gives more examples of how words can be turned into pictures.

Spelling Strategies 2 & 3

Strategy 2: Make Observations about the Words.

Make flashcards of the words. Write on the flashcard. Outline the word to emphasis the tall letters and short letters.

Poor spelling has to do with poor visual memory of words. So the outlining process reinforces visual memory. For example, the word “corn” has no tall letters or letters that hang low. This will help one to remember that it starts with a c and not a k.


Strategy 3: Constant Time Delay

Constant time delay gives students time to think of the correct answer. If they do not know the correct answer, then the teacher or parent shows them the correct word after a few seconds. This way, students form only correct connections in the brain. This is called “errorless learning.” This is better than forming incorrect connections with guesses, having to break those connections and then forming the correct one.
Clear step by step directions

Reading - in 10 minutes a day

After teaching my 5-year old how to read in 10-minutes per day, I became a firm believer in the need for parents to spend quality time with their children reading. Even parents that cannot read themselves can make a huge impact on their child’s life in this way.

- Choose a book on an appropriate reading level.
- Set a timer for 10 minutes
- No stress!
- Give the child time to look at the pictures and make observations as you go.
- Pictures add context for beginning readers to add meaning to their words.
- Remember that one has to review a word at least 7 times to get it into the working memory. Just because you tell them what the word is one time does not mean that they will remember it.
- If your child really struggles, offer to read together in unison. This is called “Paired Reading,” a research proven technique for helping children learn to read very quickly.
- Idea: make flashcards of words your child struggles with. Include pictures on the flashcards. (5-cards/time is good.) Review the cards now and then or in the car.
- Repeat readings, allowing child more independence

Some parents think that school is going to teach their child how to read, so they do not need to put the effort in. However, most students receiving special education services do not have parents who help them with their homework. This gives children the message that reading is not that important after all.