How Do We Raise Students' Self-Esteem?

Parents are the first line of teachers in students' lives.

Two Sides of a Coin: Building self-esteem in students can be harmful or helpful, depending on how it is done. It is possible to build students up so that they become "puffed up" and think they are awesome just for showing up for school. 

A Saturation of Praise

One can make students think they are awesome no matter how they perform.

Researchers found that "D" students do not necessarily think less highly of themselves than "A" students. Bullies often have over-inflated "self-esteem."

"When self-esteem is not based on personal drive, accomplishments, or positive behavior, it resembles narcissism" (Aspen 2001-2009).

Building True Self-Esteem 

Students with higher self-esteem do better in school (Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs)

"Practices that promote self-esteem produce more successful, hard working, risk-taking, ambitious, respectful, and self-directed students" (Schindler, 2010).

John Schindler writes that true self-esteem has little to do with feelings reported by students. Instead, it has everything to do with a set of unconscious self-beliefs that include "one's thoughts about one's ability to control their world" (locus of control), "one's likability, and one's sense of competence or self-efficacy."

To help improve student's locus of control:

·      Give students voice and ownership of rules and their consequences

·      Create an environment free from excuses.

·      Teach problem-solving skills

·      Give students choices

·      Use behavioral contracts when needed

To help students develop a sense of belonging or acceptance

This is essential for mental health and ability to trust and take risks.

·      Create an environment of acceptance (model, teach, attitudes and values)

·      Appreciate the different viewpoints

·      Validate student's feelings

·      Promote human respect

·      Use cooperative learning where students have to lean on each other to gain certain accomplishments

Encourage Self-efficacy

·      Give students specific feedback about what they need to work on and what they did well

·      Assess using a clear criterion

·      Find ways to make students teachers

·      Help students make their own goals

·      Help students think of ways to overcome their own barriers

·      See students through to achieve their goals.

Example: A student wants to do a large assignment. Help the student decide what they can do in a specific amount of time. Break the work up into smaller chunks and set time goals for specific days. Are there other barriers? What are they? What specific goals can we set to get over these barriers? Then follow up and keep students accountable for their goals.

Another Example: Have the students help build the class rules or home rules, keeping in mind the most valuable goals of keeping everyone safe, respecting each other, and learning as a priority. 

Aspen Education Group. Can Your Teen Have Too Much Self-Esteem? Found on http://www.aspeneducation.com/Article-too-much-self-esteem.html. 2001-2009.

Shindler, J. V., Creating a Psychology of Success in the Classroom:

Enhancing Academic Achievement by Systematically Promoting Student Self-Esteem. http://www.calstatela.edu/faculty/jshindl/cm/Self-Esteem%20Article%2011.htm

Two great books on teaching students to make good choices:
Cline, F. & Fay, J. Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.  2006.
Fay, J. & Funk, D. Teaching with Love and Logic: Taking Control of the Classroom. 1995.   

Dads, Careers, & Learning

Fathers are very important in connecting students with careers. Dads teach their children the skills they have in their own careers whether it be golf, networking, financing, mechanics, electronics or sales.* One example of this is my friend’s dad who was principal of a school. Through him, she played basketball and golfed, learning strategies and resilience in many situations.

My dad believed that I could do whatever I put my mind to, whether it be playing the piano, college soccer, or a career. He taught me how to tune up a lawn mower, some construction, and the value and enjoyment of work itself. Once he let me help paint an apartment. Painting has been a way for me to make money on the side ever since.

I will never forget the times Dad helped me with my homework – reading and memorizing multiplication facts. Because it was so special, I still remember those exact time’s-tables and books he helped me with.

Thanks Dad! I still believe I can do anything I put my mind to.

*For her master's thesis in social work, my mother studied the influence of fathers on their daughter's careers. At the time there was not much research on this topic. Also, I learned many things from my mother. For example, it was my mother who took me with her to teach a special education class. 

Dad's Encouragement Through Difficulties

Written by a man who lost his dad last year to cancer (both named Edwin Boone)

Edited by Juanita

  

My dad really helped me in my learning.  It wasn’t really the things that he taught me, which were usually practical things and skills, such as how to keep things working, but the attitude about the learning itself.  

One of the greatest lessons Dad taught me was, when learning gets tough and the pieces just don’t seem to fit, persevere and keep trying.  Sometimes I needed to walk away from a thing for a while, go back a few lessons, or think about it from another angle. Under his influence, I learned to never give up. 

One example of my inability to comprehend what I was studying was a high school class in trigonometric analysis. Despite my best efforts and the assistance of an engineer friend of my dad’s, I steadily became more and more like a lost ball in high weeds.  I managed to barely pass the class. My last grade for the class was a solid D, by far the worst grade I ever had in school. I was very afraid that Dad was going to be angry about the D.  

That day, he taught me one of the other greatest lessons I have ever learned: If you have worked at something, have truly done your best, and still somehow manage to not succeed – keep your head high and don’t be down on yourself. You really have nothing at all to be ashamed of. 

Take joy from what you can do, and don’t be ashamed of what, in spite of your best efforts, you cannot do. 

That’s a lesson that helps me sleep at night.

  

Note to Moms about Reading and Writing

Moms are the greatest recognized influence on student reading and writing development by the students themselves – even teenagers!

Last week I had the privilege of helping a 10th grade collaborative* writing class with their essays. Students were writing a 2-page, typed essay on how their reading and writing has developed over the years. Nine (9) out of ten (10) 10th-Grade students attributed their reading and writing development to their mom’s influence. No other person was mentioned in any of the essays I read: not the dad, not a special teacher, grandma or nanny.

What does this say about teaching reading and writing?

   •    Moms know their children.
   •    Moms know how their kids learn best
   •    Moms know what their kids are interested in and inspired by
   •    Moms teach reading and writing in love.


"A teacher affects eternity: he can never tell where his influence stops." - Henry Brooks
A mother affects eternity: she can never tell where her influence stops. (Translation for Moms)


*A "collaborative" writing class means that there were several students with learning and behavior disabilities in the class who were successfully tackling this 2 page, typed essay on their reading and writing development over the years.

To Dad’s – Father’s day is coming. You can find out how Fathers influence their children’s success.

Connecting the Dots - Learning History

History was a very dull subject in school for me that seemed to be all about the dates and other seemingly empty, meaningless facts, without any connections to anything “real” to me. As a grade-school student, I could not relate to it. For this reason, I had difficulty remembering the facts I was supposed to remember. 

But stories and movies online can help students relate new information to existing information about life: Connect the "dots" between your child’s understanding of life and the information given, in order to create a new understanding and ability to remember information better. For example, in reading about Ancient Egypt, first watch one or more short videos that depict how people lived their daily lives in Ancient Egypt.

• Use short you-tube videos to add sounds, sights, people and color to written words
• Make observations together
• From observations, make a word web (a group activity, brainstorming words related to a central topic) before reading*
• Discuss the vocabulary ahead of time. If you can, link pictures to the vocabulary.
• Read, discuss more, revert back to video images and information
• Make another word web after reading
• Maybe watch the video again and see if you can find the things in your word web in the video.
• To really solidify new vocabulary, use it again in creative stories or sentences.

The "dots" of learning are words, sounds, pictures, places, people doing things that students can relate to, and things that look like things they have seen before. The connection of words to ideas is not direct.  In true learning, these connections run through many or all of the other dots. 

Another way to make history more real is have students use the information in their own creative ways:

• Create plays  of what is happening in the story. 
• Write a song
• Write historical fiction 
• Have each student study one person from the times, and make a poster of that person with pictures and words for the hallway.

*The following website is a great place to find different kinds of graphic organizers to help make a word web: http://www.eduplace.com/graphicorganizer